Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Off Topic: Options

There have been many times in my life where I thought I had no options and just had to keep trucking along with the flow. Reality is that we always have options.  Everything in our lives is optional, even breathing when you really think about it.  The options are endless.

Sometimes the risk or complexity of the option can be deterring but no matter what there is always an option.  There is always a way out.

I have gone through quite a few hard spots in my life.  I would like to think more then most.  Only after I made hard decisions that I knew were the right choice have I ever found happiness.  Happiness is not an easy road because staying stagnant in a tough situation will never bring joy.  Changing the situation has the possibilities of happiness and change is not easy.

I am a die hard reader of The Daily Love.  I get their email every morning and I skim through it and once in a while when something stressful is happening in my life that email reminds me that I always have a choice.  I can chose to continue on this path or change it.  2011 has been a year of change and I am sure 2012 has more in store.  All my friendships and acquaintances have flip flopped and each one of them for the better.  Reality is I have a hard time letting go of friends.  I am inclined to believe it has to do with my upbringing and always filling the role of the people pleaser.  People pleasing is nothing but a life of a doormat as I have learned.  It also has a lot do with my own optimism and the ability to look past less favorable qualities in people, but throughout this year I have gotten much better at recognizing a lost cause way before it has a chance to affect me.

Anyway, somehow the topic of the email always fits into my life during stressful days.  I had an interesting night last night to say the least and one of the ways I know I made the right decision is the fact that I slept well and woke up calm and happy.  This mornings email was titled “How You Can Use Negative Emotions To Create Massive Positive Change!”  It’s astonishing to me that rather then waking up disoriented I woke up as though everything was as it should be and better.  Everything happens for a reason, last night I stood up for myself and by doing that I took something highly negative and changed it into a positive for myself.  This happened all before I even got the email.  My topic of options rings true right here and now.  I can chose to stay negative or see the positive and I see the positive clearly.  I can chose to keep someone in my life that causes me distress or go off into the world without that person.  Which choice is happier and which one is easier?  Its so much easier to allow people to guilt us into keeping them in our lives when in reality we are thousands of time happier with out those people.

The purpose of The Daily Love is to help teach people to love themselves.  I was on the right path but they really do help me stay on the right path.  Mastin Kip is one of my inspirations.  In fact, it’s from finding peace and solace through his site that has reinforced why I post positive quotations on my personal facebook.  I think as a society we air too much dirty laundry publicly these days and I can definitely be a culprit of that myself (I am not in denial), so I think it’s important for everyone to hear positive thoughts or random thoughts, depending on the day.  I try very hard to keep the people and actions around me positive because I have been through depression a few times and I don’t want to be there again.

Which brings me to the topic of judgment.  No one likes to feel judged by anyone.  Over the past year I have formed several theories on those who place harsh judgment on me and those around me.  The biggest of them being that these judgments regardless of how cruel they can be are a reflection of the person placing the judgment and not the person being judged.  Most of the time these people “emotional vampires” (bring it back a few months there) are miserable and can’t handle not being miserable or being around those that are not miserable so they want to knock people down to have the upper hand.  It’s emotional manipulation and it’s not okay in my book ever again.  I have learned to really pay attention to how people interact with me.  If you really pay attention the signs of heartache are always clear.

Old blog about the same issue:

In closing, I want to make a note to say that this is my personal blog and at times it is about me, my experiences, and no one else.  I leave peoples names out for a reason.  My personal experiences are mine and mine alone and I can chose to share them however I wish to.  If you don’t like it, don’t read it.  <= back to options.  If by any chance something is awry contact me when it happens and not months later.  It’s taking a lot of holding back to not elaborate on what prompted this but I can say it was completely out of line, wrong on all accounts, had to do with my feelings on something very personal to me, and it showed me exactly who I already thought I was dealing with.  My sixth sense is a masterpiece sometimes, but I am not angry.  I won’t allow anyone to have my anger.  Everything is as it should be and after every storm is a rainbow.  I feel a weird sense of peace and wholeness now.

“May God give you...For every storm a rainbow, for every tear a smile, for every care a promise and a blessing in each trial. For every problem life sends, a faithful friend to share, for every sigh a sweet song and an answer for each prayer.” 
~ Irish Blessing

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