Monday, February 20, 2012

Another Epiphany... sometimes the right decision is easy.

I had another epiphany today regarding my putting cosplay on the back burner and why it's the right decision for me.

I started flying trapeze in 2010 and at the end of the season due to personal issues I decided to take a break from flying and focus on static which I had just begun.  When I was going through the decision process of taking a break from flying it was very emotional.  When I talked about it with friends I would start crying.  Granted I was in a very different emotional place at the time, but it was extremely hard for me to fathom actually taking a break.  My move into static worked out perfectly because I enjoy static just as much but in a different way and it has allowed me to cultivate my love of circus more then flying was at the time.

When I was driving out to static class on Friday I was having one of those moments where I wasn't sure if I wanted to keeping trapezing, cosplaying, or stop both entirely.  I already mentioned before that the trapeze class completely sorted out all my confusion.

I was sitting in Target eating my pizza I had been craving.  That's right I was craving Pizza Hut pizza and it was Pizza Hut pizza I had ordered Saturday night not tacos.  Anyway, I was thinking about how relieved I felt making the decision to cut back on cosplay.  I am relieved.  I am not stressed out.  Its not emotional.  I am not crying.  I am happy about it.  It's like a big weight has been lifted.

Like previously stated I will still cosplay.  I am still planning on finishing X-23 and Fluttershy, hopefully by the end of March.  If I do go to iCon I am hoping to debut Fluttershy there.  If it is finished in time.  If not then at WW Philly.

I know I made the right decision, because it wasn't that hard to make and it was freeing.  Its interesting to me how giving up trapeze would certainly be a very difficult and emotional decision, but cutting back on cosplay has not been.  The only emotional end of it is the possibility of my cosplayer friends no longer engaging in our friendships.  I doubt this will be the case as I believe our friendships are stronger then that and have a larger foundation, but if it is then I guess those relationships are not meant to be.

Also, cutting back on cosplay will allow me time this summer to hike, get back into photography, spend time at the beach, and read (I miss reading on the beach).  I really miss two years ago when I would fly on Saturdays then go hiking after class.  Then Sundays I would spend hiking and taking photos at Avalon and then hiking at West Meadow and end the day laying on the beach watching the sunset.  I did that almost every weekend and it was amazing watching how the nature around me would change weekly.  Last year, I did none of this.  I did not take at least one trip to Montauk.  I did not go out to Orient.  I went to Avalon and West Meadow once.  I caught the sunset once.  I was too busy sewing and that is not happening this year.

I am off to dye my hair.  I bought light brown hair dye... I really wanted dark blonde but this should do the trick.  I am feeling like doing something different lately.  :o)

I also painted X-23's bustier late last night.  The actual long line bra I found was leopard print.  It's being covered but just in case the spandex is not completely opaque I painted the leopard print black.  It's certainly removed some stretch but that is okay by me.  Her belt came in as well, but I need to order a second one so I can attach them together and the circles go completely around my hips.  Thinking about this is stressing me out.  Ugg.  Time to stop.