Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Kindness

Generosity is a beautiful thing.


I am not talking about money either.  Sure donating money or goods that cost money is wonderful in it's own right but I think more often it's those that are generous with not only their time but their kindness that take the cake.  As usual it's things that one can not buy that mean the most.

I have had a few moments in the last few weeks where relationships that were once difficult have changed.  They changed because of both circumstances and kindness.  For example there is someone in my life (a few people really, but one in particular) that has always been catty with me.  Always.  From the day I met her which was many years ago.  I never returned the cattiness.  It's not my style.  I find cattiness to be a very ugly side to humanity (because it's not just women).  I choose to not take part in it.  Even though every bit of my souls wanted to spit back something to knock her off her high horse.  I have come to realize people have different reasons for poor behavior and when it comes to cattiness often it's a sign of insecurity or jealousy.  Regardless, I never reciprocated with cattiness.  I got upset on my own time.  I think I even left the persons presence on the verge of crying more then once.  I never choose to be difficult around her either.  Despite how she treated me, I still treated her as kind as I could.

Suddenly, our relationship completely changed.  There are reasons why.  Something huge happened, but it's not my place to post online.  It's almost as though I am encountering a new person.  Had I chosen to reciprocate her bad behavior I think it would have just given her a motive but I didn't do that.  Kill them with kindness they say.  It can work.

Thanksgiving is tomorrow.  I don't particularly care for the holidays.  This is because my family is far away.  People tend to invite me over left and right but this year I am choosing to stay home.  Sad thing is I have to lie to people about it or they impose what they think I should do (and is right) on me constantly.  Thing is no one knows whats right for me except me, but I don't want to hear it.

Talking with someone today, who also is going through something life changing, actually shocked me.  This was a person who in the past jumped on the get her to celebrate holidays bandwagon and she actually agreed with my reasoning on not celebrating (as did a few other people).

Anyway, my point in this blog is to always be generous with kindness no matter what.  Kindness is a huge part of humanity.  What goes around comes around and it will serve you well in the end.  It may take a very long time, but it will.  You may have a huge distaste for someone but doing the right thing is best.

Last year, two coworkers left for bigger and better opportunities.  One of them I was very happy to see go as she was an ex friend and a huge source of bitterness for me.  The other was a good friend of mine that I was sad to see go (she was also my roommate for a bit).  The ex friend happened to be the first one of the two leaving.  Depending on the length of time, we usually have cake for the person leaving.  The cakes had been forgotten in the hustle of work life.  I had the opportunity in my grasp to be the perfect catty female and "forget" the ex friends cake, but it would have been the wrong thing to do.  If the shoe were on the other foot there is no doubt in my mind that she would have intentionally forgotten mine, but that is besides the point.  I even picked out her flowers.  I never got a thank you or anything from it.  All I got in the end was the satisfaction of knowing I did the right thing regardless of my feelings for the person.

So like I said, treat everyone well and be generous with kindness.