Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Gimmie that B-12...

What’s up with my B-12 babbles?

In 2011, I came down with Epstein Barr and Mono because of this my B-12 levels were sucked into non existence (though I am pretty sure its been messed up longer and EBV is what made it known).  I still have Epstein Barr as my IGG remains greater than 0.8 at 3.4.  Ugh!  I swear the only thing keeping me functioning is B-12 shots.  I just got one today and I am so giddy about it.

Epstein Barr is one of those viruses that many people have but there is very little information on it.  Plus the information available is conflicting and for the most part a doctor will tell you to go home and rest.  However, I got hit with this in August of 2011 and here I am a year and a half later still dealing with it.  I did relax as much as I could but there came a point where I just couldn’t lay in bed (eating kettlecorn popcorn) anymore.  I needed to get out.  Even though I am still “sick” I feel a lot better by being active, but that’s just me.

The more I look around the more people I find in situations similar to mine but worse.  I can sort of see why my doctor won’t look into Chronic Fatigue or Chronic EBV since some other people with this have levels of IGG 12!  EEK!  I can’t even imagine.  With the rollercoaster my IGG has been on I seem to be stuck bouncing between 2.7 and 3.4.  I am not sure how long it’s going to take to get that number below 0.8!  Regardless, EBV is a very frustrating virus to understand.

So anyway, I get B-12 shots because EBV sucks up all my B-12.  For those that don’t know, B-12 is a vitamin found in meat.  You get all your B-12 from meat, not soy, not B-12 pills, MEAT.  B-12 pills are a lie.  They do nothing for you.  The vitamin is destroyed by stomach acid before it gets a chance to be absorbed.  They do make drops which I did for awhile and I should probably start doing again.  The drops work but you have to get used to the medicine taste which isn’t too bad.  The drops work because the b-12 is absorbed under the tongue.  Today, my amazing doctor wrote me a script so I can have injections given to me monthly and I don’t have to take time from work to get them from her.  Last time I had an injection was possibly back in October.  I can’t remember exactly when it was but I was in dire need.

A B-12 deficiency can really mess a girl up.  It can actually mimic aging and in some people be diagnosed as Alzheimer’s. It can cause:

  • Confusion/forgetfulness
  • Memory loss/difficulty thinking and reasoning
  • Appetite loss/weight loss
  • Dark under eye circles/pale skin
  • Fatigue
  • Hallucinations
  • Feeling loss in fingers and toes
  • Depression/mood swings/anxiety
  • Weakness
  • Plus an abundance of other things

I mention these because those that have the pleasure of listening to me babble on about daily bothers know I have dealt with all of the ones I mentioned.  Lately I feel like my eyes have been sunken in looking (part of why I have not posted Venus preview pictures).  I even saw those sunken circles in the Fluttershy pictures.  It took some fancy work to make me look like normal me and not deficient me.

Yes, B-12 deficiency can cause dark under eye circle (so can a vitamin K deficiency) and it makes sense.  Not having B-12 makes a person very tired, so odds are we will look tired as well.

Yes, hallucinations and it’s not fun.  I kid you not, a few months ago I was driving at night and I stopped in the middle of the road because I could have sworn I saw a deer in the road.  There was nothing in the road.  I say its better that I stopped then just kept going and slammed into the deer, but I am pretty sure the people behind me were confused.

You may have heard I got a bit upset when some people called me out on an odd spelling error.  While I do get upset when this happens, my purpose in posting was my frustration with myself.  It’s the cognitive end of the B-12 deficiency.  I often forget that I need a shot, but that tipped me off that I really needed to get one.  In hindsight, it was a funny error but I was upset that I couldn’t see the error after checking several times.  In my confused mind, that looked right.  Not to mention, I almost crashed my car twice two weekends ago within an hour of each other.  Often I find I write things and I skip whole words or I write words backwards.  Sometimes I say things backwards or skip words when I talk.  I use FireFox and FoxFire interchangeably.  This past weekend, heading to trapeze through the rough roads, I was having a really hard time just getting words out of my mouth.  Everything I said sounded like word dribbles.  It’s not even a stutter, more like a drunk slur.  I think my friend driving can vouch for me on this one.  I remember apologizing for it a few times.  I would have been very embarrassed but I know her well enough to not be embarrassed.  It’s really frustrating being unable to communicate as I should be able to.  Thankfully, for blog purposes I now have Word and it tells me when I skip a word or spell something incoherent or backwards.  Yay Word!  

“Microsoft Word, helping people write like normal human beings”

(new tag line?????)

Someone I know said something about feeling stupid today and I responded saying how I feel stupid when my B-12 is low.  I do.  I feel like a shell of a person.

Not to mention I kind of yelled at someone yesterday and I barely remember it.  I remember being overwhelmed and annoyed with something but I was hoping I hadn’t been as rough as I was.  Yesterday and this morning are a complete blur.  I think my brain shut off Sunday evening.

One of the few things I do remember from this morning is having difficulty counting.  I do inventory.  I need to count.  I kept writing wrong numbers down or putting them under the wrong product.  Another sign I need B-12.  I also have been making weird ordering mistakes like popping in the wrong numbers into the system.  Whoops.

But I have my B-12 shot now that I needed so badly.  Hopefully getting them monthly will help this EBV to move into remission finally.  But for now I am going to pour a glass of wine, relax and probably sleep a solid 12 hours again tonight.

Oh I should mention that a lot of low B-12 symptoms are very similar to other illnesses.  So make sure to take your doctor’s advice.  Of course it never hurts to have your B-12 levels checked anyway.  Especially for those of us that do not eat a lot of meat.  The symptoms seems to be a bit different for everyone.