Sunday, November 3, 2013

Things and More Things…

It’s been a wild last two weeks. Wild not in the best of ways but wild none-the-less.

Last week was particularly trying. In hindsight, I have come to appreciate some of the people in my life much more and others I have lost complete respect for. I had a very real and valid meltdown last week and I was a bit surprised at how one person in particular ignored it. Completely shocked. It’s a hard lesson to learn that some people no matter how many times you are there for them in their many hours of need that they will never return the favor (though they will with other people). I am sure what I am going through will come up in a week or two and by then it will be a non-issue because it’s clearly not important to that person (therefore neither am I). Helping with an issue of any kind two weeks later is of no help. None. In this situation (without divulging details) I was on the verge of a complete break down and all I needed was someone to listen to me and actually understand what I was going through. You can’t help with a breakdown two weeks after it has happened. Thankfully, a few people did actually care to listen to me and did actually get it.

Anyone else had this happened? How did you deal with it?

I am also having some weird anxiety about returning to static trapeze next weekend. I am very much admitting to many people it may be a short return because when I stopped I realized it was no longer fun. It became not fun for a variety of reasons and I left with the notion that I would be back in the summer, but I haven’t really wanted to go back. I miss my friends and I try to keep in touch (mostly online) but I rarely hear from anyone. This just pushes me further away. So I have a situation where I like aerials but I am avoiding the people and that doesn’t work. I am a very social critter. I can’t train alone because that doesn’t work for me either. Initially I was excited about it, but now I am quite the opposite. This could very possibly go away the second I put my hands on the bar, but I am inclined to believe that will not be the case this time.

Anyway, I am sitting here eating ice cream and hoping this is a better week. Things must change. That is for sure.