Monday, August 25, 2014

Sunday Blues and Good People

I didn't have the best of afternoons today and while I can't say why just yet, I can't not say that I truly do have some of the most amazing friends.

Excuse my vagueness but I can't say what's going on until I know more information tomorrow.

I had a few moments today where I nearly broke down as my head went in many directions trying to figure out what my course of action should be.  I almost broke down Saturday afternoon but was able to get through it and still have a great time at my friends Bachlorette Party.  Sorry Chris (or whatever your name is this week bro), I skipped your birthday for a good reason.  I got through yesterday with the promise of laughter and laughter came.  It was today that was tough, leaving my friends and then having to deal with reality.  Lets also add being a little hungover to boot.

So a handful of people know what's going on and why I am upset.  It's ridiculously amazing to me how thoughtful and wonderful my friends are.  I feel like I really have found my place with people I can trust.  It's really wonderful to be supported in an emotional sense for a change.  It's something I haven't had in a very long time.

These few people came up with helpful solutions.  That really helped chase away the blues.  Now I have to get my lazy butt up at 6am so I can see what can be done.  Keep your fingers crossed.

Oddly, I was thinking about writing a similar post a few days ago but for a different reason.  That reason is anxiety.  It really means the world to me that for the first time in my life I have at the very least FOUR solid friends that I met through costuming who I can talk to about this (and pretty much anything) because they get it.  While we are certainly not the same and have different life experiences, I think to a certain degree we understand each other.  It's pretty special to have that.  I will even say that I know my one friend doesn't understand but does their best to empathize and that means a lot.  I am talking about a sincere effort.  How lucky am I to have FOUR people I can really talk to anytime about anything.  I mean in the middle of an anxiety attack and they actually know how to help and not hurt.  I am beyond lucky.

I am a far stretch from where I was a year ago and its been one really rough year.  I have had to leave some people behind in the process but I have grown so close to some others.  It's just amazing to have friends that need you in the same way you need them.  They don't tell me what to do and not to do.  They don't get upset if they don't hear from me for a week or two.  They don't get mad at me if I make a bad decision.  I can be bitchy and irritable, and they stick by me.  Then every now and then they say something that blows my mind because it's always a simple statement that just makes the world make sense again.

I haven't truly cried in awhile, which is great because I am feeling a lot better.  I am crying now but it's because I am so touched by the people that have become the core of my life.