I was at a wedding tonight and I had a very scary thing happen while there. I warn you I am not going to hold back some somewhat vulgar, descriptive and grotesque language.
Okay, here we go.
I went to my good friends wedding. I had an amazing amount of anxiety up until about 10 minutes before I got there when my brain finally remembered how many ridiculously amazing friends I have in common with the bride and groom. I mean we all love these two amazing people so of course we all get along well. We did. My anxiety was completely stupid, but I have intense anxiety about wedding regardless. That, however, is a topic for another day.
So I was at the reception having a great time. I felt great. I felt pretty. I managed an updo all on my own that I knew could easily transform into a half up half down (which happened later). I was having a great time.
I am a vegetarian (that eats fish and eggs). For the cocktail hour, I had one drink of Fireball with Pepsi, bread, fried ravioli, tortellini, and some more mozzarella. I may be lactose intolerant but a girl needs to fed herself.
So after cocktail hour everything was great. The first dance, the best man speech, but when the matron of honor was giving her speech I started to get really warm. I was too warm. I started to realize what was happening. I tapped my friend on the shoulder and said I was going to sit. In all honestly, I felt horrible and disrespectful sitting, but it was much better then walking out. The second her speech was over I told my friend I was going outside. I bee-lined it out the front door. The minute I went outside what I thought was happening really started.
Ocular migraine IN THE MIDDLE OF MY FRIENDS WEDDING!
I noticed as I was sitting outside that the stonework looked unusual. The grout which is actually grey looked like it was full of color as though there were LED's threaded through the grout. Anyway, sitting outside I was not cooling off and it was taking longer then usual for me to go blind. I also knew I was going to be sick whether I wanted to be or not.
So being my responsible self and not knowing the venue I was in, I approached the lady working the front. I told her I was having a migraine and asked if she could walk me to the bathroom because I didn't know how long I would be able to see. She attempted to walk me to the bathroom.
I remember getting to the doorway only because she told me it was the doorway. I remember putting my hand on the door frame to have the door move and pinch my finger. I yelped and moved my hand.
The next thing I remember was being on my knees by a stall, not in it but by it, and people lifting me up, walking me to a chair, a lot of commotion, being asked to take my shoes off, being walked outside, and given a bottle of cold water. During all of this I was COMPLETELY BLIND. I have no idea who was around other then the attendant who had been holding me but I knew other people were there. On the way outside I got sick. I threw up in hallway but (being me) attempted to hold it in my mouth until I knew I was outside where I made a mess of the street and myself. Normally when things like this happen I can get to a garbage or a toilet in time and not make a complete mess of everything.
A few minutes after being sick, I could suddenly see again. That's how it works. It horrifying and scary but of once it's over it's as though nothing happened. Once I could see again, I found myself surrounded by a few faces, two of which I actually knew.
After a slew of questions about how much I had to drink, is my sugar low, did I eat, etc, I finally got to use that bathroom. I got to use the bathroom to clean myself up but darn it I got there!
Now my ocular migraine attacks are never so public. I am completely mortified and embarrassed. I know there are people that thought I was drunk. I did have a drink, but I was by no means drunk. I did have a second drink waiting for me that I did not drink. I had Sprite the rest of the night. The kicker is that I PASSED OUT. I have no idea how I went from the door frame of the bathroom to being on my knees. It was also confirmed by the attendant that I did pass out. Thankfully, she was there because if no one was I can't imagine what I might have hit my head on. I have never ever passed out from a migraine.
The last time I passed out (and the only time) was on the static trapeze. For those that know these terms I was doing a catchers lock roll up to standing. I was standing in the loops as I was supposed to and lifting my knees to get out and stand on the bar when I fell down the trapeze and my spotter caught me. I remember slipping, being caught, and being told to let go of the ropes. I don't remember sliding down.
Passing out is scary. Not knowing how you got from point A to B is pretty horrifying. The fact that I passed out from a migraine is even scarier. Being so open to talk about it is me being scared. This is what I do when I get scared, I talk about it to everyone. Normally when I get these heat is the trigger like standing over a steam table, sitting in the sun, or being in a store with the heat cranked (happened in AT&T ages ago). I was not in a place where I was overheating. The room was warm but not the kind of warm to set this off. I have no idea what happened and lets really get into the fact that an ocular migraine normally causes loss of vision on one eye and not both.
Clearly, I need to go back to my doctor and have this reevaluated. As my friend said, because I lost consciousness something needs to be changed medically. I need to go have a visit with my doctor anyway so this is good timing I guess.
Despite all of this, I still had a great time at the wedding. People checked up on me somewhat regularly which was a bit uncomfortable but I realize its because they care. I am not used to having people care about me in that manner and it's actually really awesome. It was pretty amazing to be around so many friends (most had no idea), carry on after a scary moment, and end the night on a very high note.
The best kind of friends are the ones that help you clean yourself up after being sick and the ones that fall into your cleavage for support when they trip. Yes girl, you totally did that and now I am having your lovechild. Can anyone say Irish twins? Inside jokes, because I have jokes.