Monday, February 22, 2016

Exhaustion

Hi all!

I apologize for my absence. Truth be told I have been much too busy to write and I shouldn't be now but I have thoughts.

The last few weeks I have been super busy at work and my weekends haven't been much different. It's left me with very little done at work, massive insomnia, panic attacks, and no proper time to reset. I have learned with my anxiety that I require an amount of time to reset.

I have taken time off from cosplay to lighten my schedule but my schedule seems to get worse. I can't explain what it's like to force myself out of bed in the morning and barely have energy to make it in the door after an 8 hour shift and mind you I do mental work not physical work.  I need reset time or I crack.

Tuesday, I had a bad anxiety attack at work and it wasn't until Wednesday night that I finally slept okay.

The previous weekend I went to a friends, Static Trapeze, and worked the rest on something for work. 

This weekend I spent my entire Saturday at a Viking event as the queens guest.  Which is fun and all but I left my home around 11:30am and got home at midnight. Day shot.  I really wanted to stop and pick up almonds on my way home too. Oh well. 

Sunday was Static Traoeze which is sadly a longer day then it needs to be.  The gym is a 1.5 hour drive from me. Our classes change. This week it was 4-5:30pm. If I left from home I would leave at 2pm and be home by 7/7:30 but in the interest of being social (and impractical) I drive an extra hour out of the way. I wind up leaving at 1:30 and then not getting home until 9pm because everyone wants to eat which is fine but I am rarely hungry after class and I would rather eat home after being out so long.  What should be a 6 hour max day winds up being much longer.

So here I am completely wiped out and sad. I am happy that I have friends that want to spend time with me but I really need my me time and sleep doesn't count. If I wasn't horribly embarrassed by it I would show you the horrendous condition of this apartment.  The laundry was not put away from two weeks ago. I finally washed the dishes.  It's crafting madness because of the work thing.  I barely made my weekly lunches tonight. I didn't the last two weeks but I can't keep doing that. 

Bottom line. No more car pooling for me. 

Also Saturday's need to not be full day events. I can't do that.