Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Terrible Weekend

So last I wrote I was talking about how sick I am.  I am still super sick and it led to a ridiculously terrible weekend.

I had my doctors appointment Thursday and that went well and everything.  Friday I went to work as usual except I was in a little bit of pain.  After only a few hours I was in terrible pain and I had to leave work.

In the process of driving home I pulled over at the park to lay in the back seat for a bit before continuing home.  This is not your average cold or bruise.  I made it home.  I got sick.  I felt a little better.  I contacted everyone completely cancelling my weekend plans and contacted the lady that sometimes covers me in case I wasn't going to make back to work Monday because at that point I was pretty frightened for my future.

Considering I was home by 10am on Friday you would think I would put Daredevil on, but nope I was too sick to watch TV.  I couldn't look at my phone after those initial texts I sent out.  I spent every 15 minutes to every hour sick.  I didn't eat all day.  I couldn't keep water down.

Around 3/4pm I sent my landlord a text explaining that I was exceptionally sick but exactly telling her what exactly is going on for fear of over share and asking if they could be extra quiet for the weekend.  We typically have a fairly understanding relationship, but this time she didn't take it too well and she basically told me to move out.  So on top of being deathly ill, I had this bomb dropped on me.

The stone attack wound up lasting until 3am when I think I finally passed out.  I woke Saturday like Friday had just been a strange nightmare where I lost an entire day of my life.

Saturday, I decided to switch to soft foods in the event I have another stone attack.  However, I had very little of these foods in the house.  So I had to call on a good friend.  She gladly went to the store and picked me up a few foods that I could easily eat.  I spent a lot Saturday crying both because it's hard for me to not be able to do things on my own and because of the conversation with my landlord.  I am still upset.  I mean if the shoe were on the other foot granted I would be bother to have any plans changed but in the grand scheme it's not a massive request.  Saturday, I started watching Daredevil though. Yay!

Saturday, I did have some pain, but the pain killers actually helped.  They did not help at all on Friday.

Sunday, I felt more normal.  However, the terrible ride wasn't about to end. I was still trapping myself in my house.  I spent a lot of time organizing and cleaning off counter-tops.  Of course it couldn't just be a good day a "friend" had to send me some messages that I didn't really want to see.  So that didn't help.  Monday, I wound up home from work and then completely emotionally torn apart by said "friend."  We talked later about something different but I don't know if I will ever get over this one.  I know who I am.  I know I am a person who tries exceptionally hard to be kind and considerate to people I care about and this person I have tried exceptionally hard.  To hear otherwise is more then heartbreaking and I can't anymore.  It brought me back to my childhood when my mother used to manipulate events that happened to confuse my memories.  I have honestly been crying about this for two days now, but eventually I will stop.  It's not something an apology can take away.  I know I am not the mean one and I don't have memory issues, but I felt myself being manipulated again and that's not okay.  Friends don't do that.

Tuesday, I went back to work.  I lasted for 6 hours before I had to leave.  Yesterday was a big inventory day and it seems the longer I am standing counting the more pain I wind up being in.  I felt the storage room was very warm and stuffy, but it could have just been me.  I finished my counts before leaving though.  I insisted on doing at least that even though several people wanted me to leave.

I am literally begging to work.  We have an agreement at the moment where I am allowed to work half days or longer depending on how I feel.  Today I went in for 4.5 hours, but I did get dizzy at one point (no idea why).  Tomorrow, I will have inventory help.  It's an interesting ride.

I am really grateful to have a very understanding job.  Thankfully, we have had a lot of people with kidney stone experiences.  Unfortunately I have a job where I can't just call out in the morning.  There has to be a plan for my position since I don't typically have coverage.

I am also grateful to have excellent friends that have been super cool about me being extra needy lately.  I don't think I am normally too chatty with my closest friends but lately I need them a little more and I have been online posting a bit more and they are humoring me and not throwing knives.  I need the people I can be silly with.

Maybe tomorrow I will talk about Daredevil!